My Memory of Love

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

Ten years ago I was working on the 42nd floor of an office building in midtown, happily sipping my morning coffee as it was the first day back from a lovely vacation at the Outer Banks. I slipped into the elevator and making my way to my desk when I noticed my co workers faces crowded around my office. (I thought I had left something very interesting on my desk to my mistake.) They were all looking south towards the Twin Towers one was on fire. I sank to my seat and turned on the radio and instantly saw the plane hit the south tower. Several co workers lost it, I remember knew my family would be worried so I called my Mom and told her to turn on the news. Once she turned on the news, our conversation turned serious.

I instantly knew from friends that refused to work in the Twin Towers that it took 2 and half hours to evacuated those buildings because of the past bombing attempt experience several years before. That conversation with my friend ran through my head, wondering what could be going on down there when soon after that I watched the first tower fall. I was shocked. I had just witnessed a complete slaughter of thousands of people." What is going on?" I silently asked God.

At this point my co workers were a mess. My buddy Rob was screaming. People were holding onto each other crying. What was I to say? I had no words of comfort for anyone. I picked up the phone and told my husband to call his family and just let them know we were safe, because I knew distant friends would wonder. Phone lines started going down. I tried to call my boss. No answer. This worried me a bit. Especially as the second tower right before my eyes. Imploded. The second witness to a devastating slaughter of human life. People started leaving the office because we were so high and close to the Empire State Building. Over the radio reports of a plane in DC, and soon one down in Pennsylvania close to my hometown. It was getting a bit much, especially as I had family that worked in the Pentagon and my family lived close in the area the 4th plane went down. All four planes hit close to home.

I decided to leave the office, I left a message on my bosses machine. People were making mass exoduses towards their homes in droves, crossing bridges covered in dust and debris to get home. No transportation. The city in complete lockdown. Soon, walking up 7th Ave the city was crying with sirens. Chaos. Sadness. Terror. Dismay. My husband agreed to ride our motorcycle to Columbus Circle...”I’ll meet you at the fountain.” People walked past crying, running, some people sitting on the ground. Few talkers and no one was ambitious in New York, except firemen that day. I came to that place, still shocked, still unable to speak and the traffic and crowds were so bad that I couldn’t move to get to our meeting place. Then I saw my darling’s red hair on the oblesk at the rotary, he was looking for me. I waved. we met. We sat at our fountain and spoke few small words. Not much I could say really. We got on the motorcycle and weaved our way through traffic to our apartment. What now? The phone calls weren’t coming through. Our neighborhood was completely still. No one moved. We knew we all collectively had been through something horrible. Find your people, your friends, your clan. That became the imminent job for several days. People went missing. Never made it. Evacuations downtown. There’s a rumor someone’s husband was due to fly out, but got bumped and was saved. Chance?

We decided to take a walk in the park. There was not much else we could do and I needed to process stuff. We walked for several minutes when a dog approached us with a belt around it’s neck. It was a stray. No one was going to do anything with the dog. I coaxed it and put our dog’s leash on it. The chances of a shelter taking it in were pretty good. The dog had clearly been abandoned and abused. Later I tried to pet it and it lunged at me. By midnight we drove over to the shelter in Harlem and handed the dog over to them. The world was not right, even the animals knew. I finally broke down and cried in the car on the way home. The thought of what really was lost that day was overwhelming. It’s taken years to process 9/11 for many people, myself included.

I noticed the day after Sept 11...was that people bound together in love, compassion and good will like never before. Many turned to God. People hugged each other. They reconcilled with family memebers. They made room on the subways or housed a co worker who couldn’t get access to their apartment downtown. Today in face of a country divided by different ideologies, differences of opinions and different convictions we should take time to reflect what good came out of 9/11. The hurt and sting is still there. It’s 10 years down the line. Pictures and memorials. Flowers, tiles, notes, pictures secured to fences and walls to honor people and place. Heros died. Loved ones were lost. Families were devastated.

Occasionally when I visit New York now, I remember how I would look at those towers at as a needle on a compass as to which way I needed to walk.... uptown, downtown, east side, west side. That compass is gone. The air space hangs now like a ghost. Hollow. Empty. Scarred with emptiness. But still reminding me of the people that ran into danger to save others.The heros that knew they were facing death by a mere attempt at the impossibility to save both another and themselves. The people that continue in their bravery that serve us in this way everyday and do not let their fear of the past cripple them from carrying on today. Remember the love for each other that came out of all that mess? This is what I want to remember most about that day.

Get Some Fresh Air

So, after a summer long neglect of posting anything on my blog the weather has churned up more than just hurricane Irene but that post storm feeling of a clear day, a new season and the fact that that it’s time to get back to business baby!

I think in looking back in my huge attempt to keep the summer simple. I failed.

We’ve had an amazing summer- I’ve taken the second class needed in my Biblical Studies degree in the Old Testament while single handed (one is holding a book) managed to keep the kids entertained, fed and somewhat safe. We did a lot of swimming at our lake beach, had a vacation on Cape Cod, drove out to my parents in Pennsylvania. The big ticket happening was that my boys all got brand new shiny bikes for their birthday. We have also done some camping with our church at Indian Hollow and in the backyard during those extremely hot days. But, like all journeys sometimes it’s been uphill. We’ve battled lice, now fleas with the dog and trying desperately to get the kids to read just twenty minutes a day in preparation for 3rd grade and not letting their brains ooze out of their ears before they graduate elementary school.

I think the most memorable event this summer, was hosting a Fresh Air Fund child that came up from New York City. These kids come from poor disadvantaged areas of the city, and many of them have never been away from home or put bare feet in backyard grass. We took our friend Evan camping and he was exposed to a lot of new things. Like water. Sleeping in a tent. Riding a bike. The highlight of our friend Evan’s trip, was his chance to sit on a horse. He’d never seen a real live horse before...not even in Central Park. Because he was one of those kids who even at the age of 8, had never gone to Central Park.

Last year in Red Hook Brooklyn (now much of it is flooded after hurricane Irene) I watched kids play in the hot oppressive city by throwing water on each other from garbage pails. It was a scene like Sesame Street, fire hydrant going and kids having a blast. My kids love playing in “the hood” with city kids when we visit our friends in NY. But last year it was really clear to me, after living in New York City for 17 years and now living in Amherst all that I have access to and what these kids don’t have. So thus, the pressing of what God would have me do. It was clear that we were to sign up to do the Fresh Air Fund program, the nation’s oldest non profit in our country’s history.

Despite trying to keep our schedule simple and failing mostly because we crammed so much in in so little time, I feel like what was meant to happen and the experiences my kids had were vital to their perspective. In opening our home to someone that does not have the same kind of home life that they do, we also exposed parts of ourselves that are resistant to sharing “our daily bread” with someone that might be disadvantaged. It was in the study of James that deeply convicted me that my children needed to be trained from a young age about what it means to truly have faith. Not just going to Vacation Bible School or camp and learning about Jesus in church, but how we need to have faith in action in our own lives regardless of what other people do or don’t do.

James 2:14What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? 17So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

What amazed me about the Fresh Air Fund is it’s history. It’s rooted in this scripture. Truly the man Rev. Parson’s was a visionary but he also called his church to take heartfelt faith in heartfelt action. Today there are only 18 families in the Pioneer Valley that host a child. We are a so called “friendly town” for the Fresh Air Fund and this year the director told me the buses in years past used to be filled with kids. This is not because the need has gone down to host. If we are a “friendly town” it seems to me that we are not that “friendly” in reality.

I would say the numbers clearly reflect the state of faith in New England. We want social justice, we want to educate the poor, we want to give kids like these opportunities here in the Pioneer Valley but in opening our homes for two weeks? That is a pain in the butt. It’s a hassle. Yeah, parents have to work. Yeah, you don’t have space. Yeah, you go on vacation. This agency was created during the era of immigration and tenements in NYC a time when kids used to work in factories and sleep 8 to a room. Do you think a clean air mattress and a week at a local camp isn’t the most exciting thing in that child’s life? An experience like this can have the potential to change not just your kids perspective, but that child learns there is something more to life beyond his neighborhood. Many have been propelled to strive for an education and rise above their current situation,like Mariah Carey. You can speak Truth into that child’s life. And most of all, it does something in you. God worked out a lot of kinks, more than what I thought I had.

Consider being a host for a child next year. Let’s be more friendly. Let’s have more faith.
I would love to see those buses filled again.
http://www.freshair.org/programs/our-history

Confessions of a Soulless Suburbanite

I am reading an amazing book right now called Half Broke Horses by Janette Walls who also wrote the Glass Castle, both being true memoirs of family. If anyone is looking for a book to read
quickly I highly recommend either book. I love reading memoirs, travel writing and a gripping story that displayed culture of different times and places. I’ve been reading aloud to my husband as we clip away at the Pennsylvania highways to return to our home in New England. Several things that we have discovered in reading both these books is that our kids are way way coddled and spoiled and live in the lap of luxury. Second is that we are grateful we didn’t live in the wild west growing up or during the time that these books were portrayed. I vicariously have been a homesteading rancher for 3 days reading this story. But like all good books do it’s made me see things with a different perspective for the time being...and here’s whats cooking up in my brain.

Everybody chooses to live or move on from where they grew up for different reasons. It’s also interesting to hear how places change over the years. Both my hometown has changed and the town in which I live has changed for the locals that have remained here since childhood. Trees grow, they are cut down, developments are made or things torn down, road widen to make way for more traffic or areas by passed and drain all business away from a once thriving business district, shopping centers are built and family owned shops close down after generations of success. In the book I’m reading it talks about the development of the west and how the over grazing, lack of water, drought and dust bowl almost regularly did family ranches in and not to mention the changing perspective of what “progress” was for the nation at large. Cars, airplanes and electricity all changing our culture.

When I was a young child I loved the woods behind my house. I spent a lot of my free time with my friends building tree houses or hiking through the winding paths with my dog Blondie. We also loved playing flashlight tag and in winter sledding down the pipe line which was as steep as a ski slope. Creeks were clean and I spent time making dams and looking for crayfish. We were untethered compared to some children now and the outdoors without Wii or computers were our main source of entertainment. When big bulldozers came to clear those woods away for the development of new construction of homes that are now the more desirable homes that people crave I felt a grave injustice had occured to my neighborhood and...myself. I mourned for weeks the forest that today is completely filled to the brim in my hometown with McMansions. I sat every morning that summer eating my cereal and watching them rip all the trees out and I felt like chaining myself to the trees that I loved to climb. Do one of those tree hugging protests like out in crazy California or Washington State. I started really identifying with conservationists and those hippies that lived in redwoods for a year to stop the loggers in the Pacific Northwest.

There many things I loved about growing up where I did. But even now, everytime I return home there is another strip mall, a new chain restaurant, and the highway is much much wider to help the progress of people moving out of higher taxed and dense areas. There are no sidewalks, the farmland is at this point mostly developed now with new constructed homes, I’ve never seen anyone in the few local parks and nothing is a walkable distance to anything and there is no public transportation. On a recent discourse with another hometown fogie I made a joke about some cultural aspects that I always saw as funny about PA. It didn’t go over very well with one person in-particular...to which it was not meant to offend however it hit a raw nerve with someone. Point is that I never felt that I “fit in” with the culture in my hometown white collar upper middle class suburban expanding sprawl. I was an animal lover, conservationist who didn’t see the need to hunt deer or bear the day after you eat your fill of turkey on Thanksgiving and I certainly didn’t understand or could have cared less about sports...especially football. I was artsy fartsy and I love the ocean and the overstimulating excitement of the melting pot of New York City’s mixture of cultures. I also loved working farms and dreamed of living on a farm one day myself. I love the Amish...to which I still occasionally threaten! I have always had a hunger to experience other cultures, and different ways of life and a very wide variety of diverse people. So I just will say what I have to say....suburban sprawl is souless. Do we all need to be so damn close to a Panera Bread and a Starbucks? When a community values new construction over smart sustainable community planning it rips the soul out of a part of that place if it ever had one to begin with. That’s what happened when those bull dozers did when they ripped my childhood “playground and park” and poured cement in the name of progress. This is the scar that will never lead me back to my hometown. The same thing happened to me on 911 in New York when I watched my beloved city wounded. Not all hurts come from people. Progress looks different to me and this is why I live where and how I do. It’ important to preserve land for our children, it imperative to plan for the future and health of our neighborhoods by providing safe routes to school and natural spaces for discovery. It’s not utopia by any means, but I must commend the town I live in for spending years of investment into our now future. It is a unique place to live with a lot of character, soul and vision of how to preserve our values well into the future.

Drinking Koolaid by the Campfire

Okay, now that we still have Australia showing up on the map after the May 21 hysteria I think it’s safe to say we told you so. I am really amazed at the aspect of the frenzy and it’s media coverage. You would have thought Micheal Jackson was resurrected. Many people on Facebook and blogs have written about such things, and also ripped into the community of Christians and any other company of people with faith. That’s fine. We still love them and we love their dogs too.

We all had a bit of fun about it. I had friends that did a great joke and put their clothes at their desk so when their boss came in the “joke” was on him who would be left behind...yet he was one to play into the May 21st stuff. We’ve heard the crazy stories of people selling up and doing it tough in the RV and spreading the Word...at $4 bucks a gallon in a gas guzzlin’ mobile home. I’ve always wanted to go cross country in an RV..but I can’t afford the gas. We tragically also have heard about the women who killed her own children and then took her own slice out of life with her knife. Earlier this year,we’ve got the Koran burning pastor in Florida and more skeletons in our doctrinal closet will be found and so...I could go on and on about stories like this. There are two things that I think of by the way when I hear the words Camping and Kool Aid. Jim Jones and David Koresh. I personally think we should change to lemonade in our church...I hate red punch for this reason. It just wigs me out. Stories like these and the media frenzy do not paint anyone with faith in a good light let alone a person of faith that actually believes in the return of Christ for that matter and makes me look like a lunatic to the world. But again, that’s fine. Even Jesus’ own brothers didn’t believe in him as the Messiah during his ministry on earth.

I feel for the families that have put so much of their hope in a feeble person such as Mr. Camping. I feel for Mr. Camping who at his ripe old age is scratching his head and going back to the drawing board on his life’s work...and all for nothing. Dude...your not that special that God is going to give you the time and the day of His coming before he lets Jesus know. This is just a very self centered way of thinking and it actually is not living out any aspect of faith. In the meantime, Family Radio has accumulated 80 million dollars worth of donations. They are rolling in it like the money machine. You heard me...80 MILLION DOLLARS (said with Mr. Evil’s pinky voice) This man Camping is a charlatan, a medicine man and a false prophet. Do you know if in the Old Testament that if some one's prophecies didn’t come to 100% fruition they were stoned to death? YIKES!! That’s how high the expectation was for the position and not exactly a sign on bonus to encourage people to ascribe to that position. According to the Old Testament law of Moses, Howard Camping is basically a false prophet and deserves to die and this actually is what many even worldly people out there think he should get. What do we do as people of faith with the likes of a false prophet in our midst? It kinda says what God does with someone who is a false prophet.... it somewhere in the end....of the...Bible and it doesn’t look pretty....lots of fire and stuff...let’s move on.

Well, I have come to know the only way your going to know truth from fiction is by not just knowing the truth...but LOVING the truth. There are so many other aspects to faith than what has been displayed with the latest American Prophet reality show we’ve just seen. What about selling all our possessions and giving it to the poor? What about loving your enemies? How about loving God? What about loving each other? What about taking care of the most vulnerable in our society to loneliness and depression or children with AID/HIV in Africa? What about spending that money to help the people of Haiti or Japan or help the south with all it’s floods? What about making disciples of Christ? I’ve seen pictures of these families that have bought into this movement and they look like a typical American family. A family on vacation not a mission trip to Africa.

So now that it’s May 22...now what? Maybe the likes of Mr. Camp will not be that appealing. Maybe they will dig deep themselves into scripture and discover what God really wants them to do until His return. It might look a lot different that what they expected if they look at what the Bible literally says. God still loves them just like he loves the people who made fun of them, mocked them and called them crazy. (Even ME) To live a life of faith is letting go and letting God handle the rest of the big stuff like the “end of the world” . What will the of the world look like according to what God promises? I know this, He promises never to leave us nor forsake us...he will and does make ALL THINGS NEW. He created all things, and sustains all things. He is the one on the Throne, not our feeble minded ideas of who He is. Faith is a HOPE, not a curse. This is what I count on as a person of faith. There are many many theological aspects to living a life of faith and my life looks nothing, nothing like this typical American family that bought into a false teaching. It seems like if people sold everything they own to ride around in a $50,000 RV and guzzle gas, leave their children, leave spouses...and in one case...even kill their own children because they thought it was the end of the world that they missed not just the boat...but the point of having faith all together

Couture Closet Cleaning

Sorry I don't have something more catchy like the word "poop" on my blog...obviously I get more readers with words like that! Onto the next subject at hand...spiritual closet cleaning!

As a seasoned fashion designer in my past life I always looked forward to Spring. Here in the Northeast, we’ve had a long long winter and now with the trees blooming, pollen flying around, the season of change certainly is in the air. I used to plan as a designer almost a year in advance, search the trends in the market of fashion and translate them into marketable products. I have to admit, I loved... loved my job. I still have a deep emotional attachment to the seasons and how they evoke certain states of mind in society and how that carries over into something as simple as our culture in the form of dress. My favorite thing about being a designer was watching the trends that I had investigated and researched slowly become reality as people bought certain pieces of clothing and that I had the foreknowledge that floral prints or certain color combos were going to be a major trend in the stores. Everything believe it or not influences things like hem line, silhouette, the type of fabric used, colors, merchandising or a detail like ruffles...right down to the political environment, the movies that win the Oscars, the economy and other real time events.

One of the most important things that prevented me in my job to move ahead mentally and artistically was if I didn’t have a chance to clean out my office after each season that was crazily done to meet deadlines for the manufacturing process. I just simply couldn’t work on spring when the winter collection of whatever I was working on graced the presence of my desk.

I recently did a major cleaning raid of my closet, it is spring cleaning time after all. I had to look at each piece of clothing and in some cases mourn the loss of how wonderful a bargain that outfit was, or how great I looked in that size whatever skirt....as I have put on the post child pounds. My world as a stay at home mom is much different than it was 8 years ago. I no longer need the same kind of wardrobe I had when I worked in an office. I have to admit, I’ve held onto some pieces thinking I’ll return to that world of fashion or a work environment that would have me dress for success. My uniform as a Mom is different. Yoga pants, jeans, sneakers or shoes that enable me to chase after my 3 kids in the mud are more suitable for my current job and the accessories are more in line with duffle bag than a Coach clutch.

I still can’t move forward menality without cleaning the closets every season but it’s amazing how this last clean out contained a third of my closet! Boy, I had high hopes in whatever was in that closet for 8 years. It’s made me think about how important it is to clean our closets out both physically and spiritually. There are some things I personally hold onto in that closet that are simply unused, or that I am holding onto for no good reason at all other than comparing my now life with the past. In scripture there are several references to “putting off” certain attitudes in the hearts like the anger of man, or to “put on” the garments of praise. Dropping your favorite dress that you haven’t worn in a long long time in that pile of "never to wear again" takes a certain resolve over the emotional attachment or even to the reality...”girl you just ain’t gonna fit in that again” rings in my head along with "join weight watchers and you'll look great in that again". If my body changes, trust me...I'm going shopping for new stuff!

I don’t collect a paycheck as I did in the past. Unlike other professionals, my bonus comes in the form of a Mother’s Day surprise as my kids do their best to serve me a breakfast of champions in the form of saltine sandwiches and dates for breakfast, with a card from the heart written in the best miss spelled all capitol letters. On those days, well, lets just say I feel like I got a promotion to CEO of Calvin Klein.

As a Mom though I never went to "mom school" or studied parenting at a big university. I often feel unequipped to handle stuff down the road as many Moms do. I wish I had more foreknowledge however as Mom about the stuff down the road for my own kids good. Trends in society don’t look to great. Especially with that Lady Gaga hatching out of an egg in a meat dress. But I am throwing my old ways to the side and putting on God’s ways of handling the future. Sometimes it’s tough having emotional attachment to things that I’ve stored up in my spiritual closet, especially those not so flattering tendencies that I might occasionally think look or feel great on. So with the coming of a new season- I am giving it to the Salvation Army which is no ironic twist. I lay those garments of shame, pain and hurt at the cross of Christ and put on that pure white custom made for me priestly garment that He has for waiting for me. My reward in this job will not come from the world’s praises of men but in the hope that I was a godly Mom hear "well done" from my heavenly Father. In the meantime, I am still working on that along the way “putting off” those old clothes the world would influence me to wear or that I am so attached to.

What's in your spiritual closet that you could give to the Salvation Army?

Cooking over Poop & Other Strange Disorders

So I could totally write about so many interesting things this week, the day Osama Bin Laden died, Holocaust Remembrance Day, taxes, elections, earthquakes, floods, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. But I will not. I am writing to get something off my chest the subject of kids with ADHD and the high expectation of compliance in society- even in the church community.

You see, what do you do when the expectation of “obedience” is there but your kid just has behavioral issues that are chemical, and genetic and just simply looks disobedient and out of control. Do you beat it out of them? How much of a beating, how much of a time in isolation do you give...over and over and over again? In one breath the spiritual aspects of “obedience” is relevant and obligated, but also as a Mom of three boys with focusing issues, and that word..."distractibility"... I can tell you there are days I feel utterly emotionally defeated by the judgements of other people. My kids are feral even to my standards most days and I feel like sprinkling Ritalin in their cereal but really the reason I want to do that is not for MY benefit...it’s to comply to other’s expectations about how well they should act. I think the church should feel less like the world and be more of a refuge but sadly I think I am not alone in my isolated experience.

I will take this back to a church issue because I clearly posted a picture of Ezekiel bread for a reason. There are kids that sit all lovely and complient, participate in a worship service dressed in khakis and button down shirts and a tie. Lovely. This is not the picture of my family. My estimation is that they did not have an hour battle over “sensory” issues of how the clothing feels in “temperature or softness” that Sunday with all of their children. Now sit those well complient home schooled (I am not knocking homeschooling but drawing a contrast) children next to mine and the comparisons are vast. In the church community, do we see kids that have behavior and learning problems as “disobedient” little scoundrels having parents that simply do not have proper authority over their children? With reality show families like the Duggars that ooze Christian ideals...I think it gives a false expectation on families and what they should "look" like.

Seriously consider how you “judge” other peoples kids and their parents when that hellion is screaming in store or better yet having a freak out in church. Or do we support parents that at the end of the day- make decisions to love, keep the communication lines open, and an extra amount of grace is needed for all to survive...maybe more than what Leviticus demands simply because ADHD did not exist in Biblical times. How you judge that squirmy rambuncsious kid and his mother? I am not negating proper discipline by any means...no way...no how...but I am saying until people have lived with the same kind of issues as mine I would please ask that people refrain from judgement on my parenting perspective or the ability to withstand endurance at the end of the day. The end of the day I want my kids to know that God loves them, even with their feral ways. I mean really... John the Baptist eating locusts wearing sackcloth? Hello people this is not your pew sitting compliant child! Think about what John’s poor mother must have been seen as...well somewhat neglectful. And Ezekiel? Cooking over a pile of poop? My kids so would love to do that in the backyard of our church. And David....dancing naked before the Lord? He made his Father proud, but his cranky wife had a thing or two to say about that.They are going to break rules, push boundaries just like we do in our fleshly ways but I want them to know that they are accepted as they are. The discipline is because I love them, but I also KNOW they need an exorbitant amount of mercy and grace. I get to choose when that is.

I kind of wish the body of faith understood that too sometimes for parents of kids with ADHD. In more than just providing “programs” or Sunday school. The support of someone saying- “I thought I would loose it during those days” or “you are a great Mom and it must be extra difficult with not 1, not 2, but 3 kids with ADD” Some people would say their is no such thing as ADD/ADHD...that kids just need discipline or the father needs to discipline the “right” way not the “wrong” way. The school’s at fault, the kid is at fault or that kids is exposed to way to much violence. I will say this- when you know that your child has ADD because he can’t stop wetting the bed because his hormones are immature, or that he cracks his jaw, neck and cracks his knuckles out of impulse control issues, or has never been able to sit still (even inutero) and is propelled by his own interests over and above anyone else’s, temper tantrums hours long, low self esteem (regardless of how popular he is), high levels of frustration that manifest in feeling and being out of control and indulging his body to act out the frustration in either bodily harm to others (and later in life which we are trying to prevent...himself) or the obsessive tendencies to fight over a tiny lego piece with a sibling. I don’t think the behavior is because little Johnny just didn’t have the proper discipline. What motivates my kid, isn’t what motivates yours. In fact, the play between instant gratification and prolonged gratification while is also insight on our flesh natures while being so true, some of us have more fleshy natures than others. The kids with ADHD just where it on the outside instead of pushing way down somewhere it can't be dealt with. We all struggle with this. Why does one person pop a brownie in their mouth when feeling bad and another take a jog on a track? Motivation and gratification. Some people have learned habits and others have more tendency to have their brains function in a certain way and have mountains to climb to accomplish something like getting out bed. If people can relate to depression in adults within the body of faith (because they have experienced it) and approach that person with a comment like...”wow, you must want to kill yourself at the end of the day...have you tried just counting your blessings and just being happy?” For someone who has a chemical imbalance this is just the encouragement and support they need! NOT!

Prayer, encouragement, something that lifts someone up that says...”God loves you, and you are not alone. God has the power and ability to heal your depression.” For anyone that doesn’t believe in chemical ups and downs....ask a women going through menopause, or a pregnant women, or a women whose just lost a baby, or a women who has PMS or a women who suffers post pardum depression. We don’t point the finger at a women whose lost a baby and say “it must be something you ate” or “just relax and you’ll conceive” when really her body doesn’t produce enough estrogen to hold a pregnancy.

So why all the fuss Lucy2Shoes about ADHD and the church? Well...let’s stop blaming the parents for not keeping their kids “in control” as per the Bible. Let’s not see “obedience” the way it looks for the Duggars as the goal for kids with ADHD. Because essentially not seeing the difficulties of families with kids like this is basically no different than blaming a women for her lack of estrogen or the father for that matter. How about love, mercy and grace so that when kids with ADHD hate themselves because the world has rejected them or they don't meet up with even the church's standards of what "obedience" looks like...that they know a Father that loves them, accepts them for who God created them to be. I mean after all- we wouldn't have Ezekiel bread locust sandwiches cooked over poop without prophets that pushed the envelope at bit now would we?

Jesus is My Laundry Man

Well as I am very late in updates, I realize my Easter blog is way delinquent but I have a great excuse simply that thing called Spring Break with kids home. But lets get down to business.
Do you have a deep dark stain in your laundry that is peskily persistent? I am amazed at how much laundry a family of 5 produces. Particularly my family of 5. I keep telling my children in a fit of exhaustion that they are going to one day wake up and find me dead under a huge pile of stinky laundry and wonder what happened. I love those old Tide commercials, the Mom looks so happy to put the singular grass stained soccer shirt in her machine and takes so much confidence in the Tide product. As a young girl watching commercials like this, laundry for a Mom looked easy and borderline glamorous. I now know the truth. Six loads at least with sheets and towels and no sexy spin cycle either just heavy loads of dirt stained clothes going up and down stairs only to find them making their way down the stairs to the machine again. Also did you ever realize they never cast a handsome young male role model to aid in the gender bending role of men knowing how a washing machine works. Madison Avenue in my opinion lost the plot on this aspect of the feminist movement. We’ve got the birth control pill but you can’t cast a man in a Tide commercial?

While this seemingly endless laundry has no end in sight, the life lessons cleaned from laundry or the much needed zen activity of folding has served me well in times of need. This week was an example of that. So I ask again, do you have any stains on that nice clean new white shirt from LL Bean that just won’t come out no matter how many times you seem to wash it? You’ve tried the Oxy-Clean, Shout or maybe even bleach. As I was sitting down with a friend, okay it was my husband...having a very deep intellectual debate shall we say...okay it was a knock out argument...about some theological issue that was at hand in regards to approaching an issue with our kids. It wasn’t the Tooth Fairy either. We were discussing how to get rid of a some persistent “stains” as we will call them that seem to be most persistent in our methods of communication. The reason for our conversation was how to navigate the Harry Potter road to witchcraft issue that will be and is creeping into our laundry. It’s like a pen stain really and we are not quite sure how to educate our kids on the fact and truth that they should not participate in things that the Bible says are not of God. The issue or argument was not should be teach our children but the hows and whys that we should go about doing our job as Christian parents.
I will say this, at this point, that we feel like we are hang gliding at this point in navigating the cultural abstinence from certain things as neither of us had fully Christian homes that give us an example to follow. Anyway to cut to the chase, I did not handle the situation well and my husband and I disagreed with the hows and whys and thus a full blown argument came about.

Now here is the aspect of laundry stains. If we have persistent “outbursts of rage” or “dissension” and my personal favorite, “discord” how is that any different from actually practicing the occult in your kitchen? It’s not. Galations 5 says the acts of flesh are obvious and “outbursts of rage” and “discord” are right up there with debauchery and orgies...even witchcraft. So, in all this I have kept coming up to the persistent stain in my own life of having to “feel” right and let go of certain arguments before the get into the “dissension” stage. The good news is that we both acknowledged our Galations 5 “stains” from our mutual flesh attack at that time an all is well.
I trust Tide to get stains out, but ultimately I trust Jesus that by His sacrifice that he continually cleanses me from my sins...especially those pesky persistent ones that creep up unexpectedly like a pizza stain on a linen jacket. This Easter I take continual confidence and awe that Jesus is my laundry man. In His economy, I don’t have to do a thing to wash my clothes.

Take me to your leader!

So can admit something. This might bring a huge aspect of embarrassment and might actually cast me in the loony category to many of my companions but I am going to actually put it out there, bare my soul, expose this hidden secret about myself that might raise eyebrows. No, I’m not gay. No, I’m not vegan and I don’t believe in aliens. Brace yourself. I like Donald Trump.

So....go ahead laugh.....louder. My husband just left the room when I read him my entry so believe me, I understand. But I can’t help myself. And this is why I blog.

I also liked Giuliani...still do. But in the last election, he got sun baked in the primaries and probably got attacked by all the old ladies in the condos of Florida that used to be New Yorkers from his old neighborhood and never took the election seriously.

Why I always like the potential candidate that has seriously the worst chance for getting in? Maybe because I like the underdog. Sigh. What is it about Trump you may ask my absolutely crazy mind that would actually even consider hoping for political success for this guy?

Well, first off. He’s a New Yorker. Second, he a tough guy. Third, I like his line of reasoning.
These were the reasons I liked Giuliani. I would vote Trump over Palin anyday. That is if I was a registered political person of conservative persuation, but I am not. I’m an independent because I like the motion of swinging back and forth between the two parties over crocodile pool. It adds to the excitement. Poor Trump, you got to feel for the guy with his bad hair deal...all the money in the world and he can’t get decent hair. That makes him an instant underdog. He’s had less wives than Larry King...so that’s not bad in this relative world. We don’t know if he’s cheated on those wives like good o’l Newt whose justified that he was “working hard for our country and ….” took comfort in some extra marital activities. What would he do with the hard work of the role of President? Polygamy?

When we are looking at the line up of who might run against the current lame duck President. It really is pathetic. But the more I hear the tough talk of Trump, I am embarrassed to say... I like him all the more. I don’t think he has a chance in hell’s freezing over of getting in. America just can’t get over his hair piece. But he’s a wise guy, and just by the nature of his tough business...he has nothing to loose so he tells it like it is. Like the old Rockefeller, the Mellon and the Carnegies of the industrial age he has come from meager means and built a huge empire. We forget that our country’s economy were shaped by guys like Trump that knew how money works and knew how to motivate people, and invest money. I think we now need to turn a blind eye into his love of building casinos and influencing society with the love of money...aka evil. Hey, did you know that Trump's Dad's middle name is Christ...seriously... and he's Presbyterian...that counts right? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump I am not quite sure how Trump would go over in other areas of leadership like foreign policy, or who he would pick for judicial roles, or if the moral compass is pointing south when it should be pointing north when it comes to passing laws that would have huge social consequences on our young people. Oh Gosh...and would he put a shiny gold facade and black glass over the White House...my imagination is running wild.

The religious moral majority right wing looks to these things when picking a candidate. But honestly they fall down in their own standards of leadership before they even run and it is slim pickin’ these days for good leadership. If Palin is uses her faith to justify her convictions, I would have to have a good sit down with her about how far she intends to apply those convictions on the whole nation. And that goes for Rick Santorum as well.

Which brings me to my next question of the day....where have all the good leaders gone?

I would almost venture to say they are extinct. We’ve disabled good leaders from leading. So, like Trump entrepreneurship is a media in which he has been able to freely exercise his leadership skills, and frankly he’s extremely successful. He's actually not the richest man in the nation. Trump always made his kids work for their privileged lifestyle and you certainly don’t see his children like Paris Hilton romping the globe in hot pants toting a Chihuahua coining the phrase "that's hot". He made his kids go to Harvard business school before they touched one penny of his business. He was a tough disciplinarian, this I know from a 20/20 interview years ago with Barbara Walters. He knows a good and honest deal, and hates cheaters....which leads me to think he thought high of the “deal” of marriage. He hasn’t tried to cover up his inatiquities in that department by saying...”I cheated on my wife because I was hard at work for our country.” He’s not religious or spiritually inclined to my knowledge although he touts a Presbyterian faith, but he does call for transparency and bringing the truth to light in many issues he’s been speaking about lately. Even giving light to the “birther” issue. Because he values what our Constitution says, he credits the crazy “birthers” to the issue of the difference of “certificate of live birth” vs “birth certificate”. There is a big difference. And according to Trump- he’s right when he says..."just show us (the nation) your birth certificate...I’ll show you mine it's upstairs" in a recent interview. It’s the deal breaker and should be. His willingness to be open to the public says something about the man.

Trump does not always do what people like and did I mention his hair? His buildings are gaudy. He loves money. (And money is the root of all evil according to scripture...so I’m just sayin’ Presbyterian or not) But I like his tough business character and the fact he has nothing to loose in running for President.
I don’t know if I could ever get used to saying President Trump, but somehow I also see him dividing the country into “apprentice” teams, maybe east coast, west coast and giving young entrepreneurs a chance to express leadership qualities that perhaps we have done more to squelch with politics and policies then open opportunities. The question is...if he fails as team leader for our country...do we get to say.....

Trump “You’re Fired!”

Bell's a Ringing!

It’s been a while since my last entry, mostly because I’ve been writing a paper on the book of James and because I’ve been coughing up the Boogie man. Broncitis is not fun to have, every morning instead of thanking God for my next breath I wake up with a drowning feeling. So I heeded my hubby’s advice and went to the Dr. I should be right as rain in a few days.

Speaking of the boogie man. Let’s talk about Love Wins and other poor and theologically weak leaders of the church like Rob Bell. In our post modern day of relative truth, watered down doctrine and the rise of athiest churches (you thought that was a contridiction...but they are real!) the church is getting a work out really for the first time in a very long time. Remember when you hit the gym for the first time or get into your bathing suit after a long frozen dark winter and stand there and see how weak, how pale you are? That’s what is happening in the church today. A prominent pastor, who has been zealous in marketing cool images, serving lattes in the foyer of Mars Hill and setting up chats about relevant art movements has released the weakest book marketed to who? I still am unsure who is going to pick up this book. Is this supposed to motivate the church? Is this supposed to encourage our young people to spread the gospel?
The theological argument is as confusing as Rob Bell’s audience must be.

The whole discussion on heaven and hell, predestination, and judgement, atonement of sins and even with a little love thrown in there for selling point. Well that’s just about the whole thing isn’t it? I’ve read one article today from Christianity Today that spells out Bell’s understanding of Atonement, as in his words...”a brilliant, creative work”. Wow, that’s theological truth in a nutshell I understand now...God is like Van Gough? I also just listened to Rob Bell squirm under fire on MSNBC. The interviewer had more theological logic then Bell. And that is unfortunately the problem with many in the church today. We are weak and untrained in battle so we look more like athletes on Wipe Out then the Olympics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vg-qgmJ7nzA

According to Rob Bell, after you die...everything is speculation. Really Rob? You just said we can’t count on scripture to tell us what the answer to what happenes when we die? Our faith as Truth...speculation? If you can’t be sure that you have eternal life when you trust the Gospel of Christ with what kind of credibility, with what kind of truth do you preach with Rob? Instead of preaching the gospel, teaching people how to read scripture and preach the truth of the doctrine of the gospel Rob Bell has been sipping too many lattes and allowed false doctrine to seep into Mars Hill. In fact, it says that he will be judged MORE harshly as a leader in the church...especially if he has not held to solid gospel doctrinal truth and used scripture as the authority and gage of what the answers of these deep theological truths. It’s just that simple.
Unless you use the same relativism in interpreting scripture in the same light, then it’s “speculation” to say the least.

The problem too is that we so often shake our heads in agreement and not know why we think one way or another. We have allowed other people, quasi- celebrity pastors influence our theology because they are cool, hip and they have nice art galleries. I think when I heard Rob Bell say words like “extend love” was right up there as a means to salvation....ooooooo you so did not say that Rob. That there be works. It sounds like a whole mis-mash of doctrine all mushed up into one. If I were you Rob I would have answered the interview with the “God is all powerful and cares about the people of Japan” and not just touted “this is a paradox that should be remained unanswered.” Speak Truth. That is....if you know it, which is sound like you don’t.

Rob Bell says he’s a pastor. I pray for Rob, that he would pastor his people well in scriptural truth. This will be more effective effect on the world today for Christ then publishing books for controversy sake. We are told to proclaim the truth and cast out false doctrine. Of course as Rob Bell there have always been questions in the Church about things like this...because the truth of the gospel is twisted when false doctrine gets in and we can see in scripture that many an early church had the same problem that we do today with pastors like Rob Bell. This is why we have the letters in scripture today, Corinthians, 1,2 Timothy, Colossians to name a few.

So my fellow blog followers...I ask you, where do you turn for Truth when a crazy cat like Bell touts pastorship on one side, then engaging conversation on another?

Bell's a Ringing!

It’s been a while since my last entry, mostly because I’ve been writing a paper on the book of James and because I’ve been coughing up the Boogie man. Broncitis is not fun to have, every morning instead of thanking God for my next breath I wake up with a drowning feeling. So I heeded my hubby’s advice and went to the Dr. I should be right as rain in a few days.

Speaking of the boogie man. Let’s talk about Love Wins and other poor and theologically weak leaders of the church like Rob Bell. In our post modern day of relative truth, watered down doctrine and the rise of athiest churches (you thought that was a contridiction...but they are real!) the church is getting a work out really for the first time in a very long time. Remember when you hit the gym for the first time or get into your bathing suit after a long frozen dark winter and stand there and see how weak, how pale you are? That’s what is happening in the church today. A prominent pastor, who has been zealous in marketing cool images, serving lattes in the foyer of Mars Hill and setting up chats about relevant art movements has released the weakest book marketed to who? I still am unsure who is going to pick up this book. Is this supposed to motivate the church? Is this supposed to encourage our young people to spread the gospel?
The theological argument is as confusing as Rob Bell’s audience must be.

The whole discussion on heaven and hell, predestination, and judgement, atonement of sins and even with a little love thrown in there for selling point. Well that’s just about the whole thing isn’t it? I’ve read one article today from Christianity Today that spells out Bell’s understanding of Atonement, as in his words...”a brilliant, creative work”. Wow, that’s theological truth in a nutshell I understand now...God is like Van Gough? I also just listened to Rob Bell squirm under fire on MSNBC. The interviewer had more theological logic then Bell. And that is unfortunately the problem with many in the church today. We are weak and untrained in battle so we look more like athletes on Wipe Out then the Olympics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vg-qgmJ7nzA

According to Rob Bell, after you die...everything is speculation. Really Rob? You just said we can’t count on scripture to tell us what the answer to what happenes when we die? Our faith as Truth...speculation? If you can’t be sure that you have eternal life when you trust the Gospel of Christ with what kind of credibility, with what kind of truth do you preach with Rob? Instead of preaching the gospel, teaching people how to read scripture and preach the truth of the doctrine of the gospel Rob Bell has been sipping too many lattes and allowed false doctrine to seep into Mars Hill. In fact, it says that he will be judged MORE harshly as a leader in the church...especially if he has not held to solid gospel doctrinal truth and used scripture as the authority and gage of what the answers of these deep theological truths. It’s just that simple.
Unless you use the same relativism in interpreting scripture in the same light, then it’s “speculation” to say the least.

The problem too is that we so often shake our heads in agreement and not know why we think one way or another. We have allowed other people, quasi- celebrity pastors influence our theology because they are cool, hip and they have nice art galleries. I think when I heard Rob Bell say words like “extend love” was right up there as a means to salvation....ooooooo you so did not say that Rob. That there be works. It sounds like a whole mis-mash of doctrine all mushed up into one. If I were you Rob I would have answered the interview with the “God is all powerful and cares about the people of Japan” and not just touted “this is a paradox that should be remained unanswered.” Speak Truth. That is....if you know it, which is sound like you don’t.

Rob Bell says he’s a pastor. I pray for Rob, that he would pastor his people well in scriptural truth. This will be more effective effect on the world today for Christ then publishing books for controversy sake. We are told to proclaim the truth and cast out false doctrine. Of course as Rob Bell there have always been questions in the Church about things like this...because the truth of the gospel is twisted when false doctrine gets in and we can see in scripture that many an early church had the same problem that we do today with pastors like Rob Bell. This is why we have the letters in scripture today, Corinthians, 1,2 Timothy, Colossians to name a few.

Oh and by the way: NY Society of Ethical Culture Rob? Universalist to the core.

So my fellow blog followers...I ask you, where do you turn for Truth when a crazy cat like Bell touts pastorship on one side, then engaging conversation on another?