The Holy Kiss

This will be a short but sweet one. The holy kiss. What is it, why am I going to talk about it?

Something is vastly missing from our culture. It’s also missing in our churches and families here in the western world. I’m talking about affection. Not PDA as couples go but the holy kiss. In scripture, we are commanded to greet each other with a holy kiss not once but at least three times in the New Testament. Paul twice, and Peter once (Romans 16:16,1 Peter 5:14,1 Corinthians 13:12). What does a “holy kiss” even mean? Do we even in our own cultural context, have the slightest clue? 

I don’t think so and I will tell you why.

I have a friend from the near east, namely Israel that is not a Christian but every time he steps in my house or I in his, there is an affection that gushes between our families that to outsiders would be a spectacle. In fact, I think that some in looking at at it through the lens of our American culture would consider it almost borderline scandalous. Greeting each other with a smothering of kisses  on the cheeks, hugs that embrace way too long, eyes lock and souls unite and say you are family. For many, this type of affection makes us squirm, uncomfortable, pull away and tidy our selves up to be prim and proper. I myself don’t like that I feel the need to pull away from this.  Do you know that physical touch has a lot to do with babies development, curbs depression in adults and extends lives in the elderly?

It’s how God built us to be. With each other however, we’ve sexualized affection to the point of isolating ourselves and others from the joy of receiving such a thing as a holy kiss. The hug that hangs on for dear life. The arms wrapped around your shoulder or neck with the laughter that is a salve to one’s hurting soul. Could this be what Paul meant in his words “holy”....kiss? Not sexual but holy ordained affection.

I’ve experienced this in Europe as well, namely Italy as complete strangers grabbing my head and planting a kiss on both cheeks...who are you? what do you want from me? Honestly as a woman you always second guess forms of affection from men. It’s our nature to be skeptical. But I am always taken aback that genuine affection my Israeli friend shows me is a part of his upbringing and culture that we simply can’t see or understand from our vantage point. There’s something about these cultures that we should understand as we are gravely anemic in this vital practice. If we don’t practice affection, we don’t see how isolated we can be from each other. Imagine if the church truly expressed the love and affection for each other like this.

I tell you what, I think people would walk through the thresholds of church more often.

“I’ll go back this week they loved me!!”

I think singles would not be so lonely.

“It’s been so long since someone held my hand”

I think depression in the church and beyond would waiver.

“I felt accepted and valued there....”

I think orphans would find families.

“I’m an only child with no parents...I am alone on the holidays”

I think widows would find comfort.

“ I can’t fathom the rest of my life without his embrace or a good night...”

I mean, imagine being told you are loved over and over again. How beautiful you are even though you didn’t even dress for the occasion. Imagine the feeling of belonging...to a family. My friend never ceases to bring this feeling into my home. Middle eastern culture, and much of Europe this is how they are...all the time. Hugging, kissing, celebrating with feasts, weeping in grief for their friend’s loss of a loved one or the absolute joy in the celebration of a wedding, a birth or milestone as a Bar Mitzvah. Somehow, sadly we’ve lost this aspect in our culture and as a result in the western American church. I’m not dogging the countless other ways we express love in the church, but this is about filling a need that we might just don’t even know we have. When this dear friend leaves my home, I mourn just a little because it feels like a family member is leaving for a really long time. A brother that you spend time on your knees asking God to protect them against the savage haters in this world that want to snap their necks simply because they are Jews. What my dear friend has also taught me, is that love regardless of belief opens the doors to peace and the gospel. Jesus said to love our enemies and to pray FOR them. Do GOOD to them. That’s tough stuff. Judas kissed Jesus with betrayal. It was not a holy kiss. Yet, Jesus poured out his life for sinners who rejected him. I am almost positive, that Jesus poured affection on his disciples in the form of a holy kiss. Grievances melt, bitterness and envy have less room to grow if you are locked in a holy grace embrace. We hear, read and quote many things about love but because Jesus walked among us in the flesh there was no holier kiss than to be loved by Jesus. So the next time you are the greeter at church or you see a friend, plant a sloppy holy kiss on each cheek and help melt the frozen chosen.

Bad at Blogging

Right now, I am horrible at blogging. I don’t know how people do it, but several other bloggers have confessed to this lately. Truth is, I haven’t had too much energy to attack some interesting and crazy things swirling around in my head of late, nor the issues in the media. I will say at this point I think I have reached that time during the summer that all I want to do is lay in my hammock and read novels, drink tea and enjoy the quiet before my small New England town is invaded by a plethora of freshman college students that clog up the Target, Staples and Walmart parking lots. Someday I know I probably will be one of those parent that can not handle or fathom dropping their children off at one of the nations largest state party schools and try to find their way in life. I am really trying to enjoy the moment of my children’s childhood but there are days that it exhausts me being the camp director, camp cook, custodian, referee and court martial for my over active boys that on a halfway decent day are bent on destroying something.

So as I realize the last time I tended to my garden was let’s see...MAY and I have not found any of the summer homework packets that came home the last day of school, the reality that summer is short here in New England suddenly hits me like a ton of bricks. We have two weeks left to squeeze in what we said we wanted to do in May. I am amazed at social media however. Hey over achievers out there doing cool stuff with your kids EVERYDAY, can you pick up my kids? These are things that people on social media seem to be doing with their kids that if I wish I had the energy to do..they seem easy enough,simple and fun to do.

Camping...oh the camping. Every year I think...let’s go camping. Nope. I actually don’t really like camping. If we camp...it’s in the backyard so that I have access to running water and a hot shower. And my microwave and espresso machine. Bugs. Snakes and bears...and mosquitos.I need not say anymore. oh..and skunks.

Cycling!! Now I like to cycle and we went to Block Island while our kids were at camp but this is really it’s a farce. We are the most out of shape people on that island. My husband has a the BEST looking bike though because we’re cool like that. I call it the diva bike. And his hat is more of a hannibal lecter hat than a cycling helmet. We made the mistake of staying as far away from civilization on that island and we had to cycle uphill...four miles...each way...to get Wifi. We are lucky to still be married. I can’t imagine doing this with my kids.

Swimming!! I actually really love to swim. We’ve been to the beach for a day and I was reminded...this is New England. It’s COLD. We swim in a lake about 15 minutes away that is shall I say...pee warm. I’m used to that temp and I’m not ashamed to say it. I try to swim across and get a good workout but this year the weeds are freaking me out. My kids are at the stage that I have make them go swimming...for punishment. I know. spoiled.

Hiking!! OMG when you realize that you are out of shape and hate the heat, hiking is seriously the last thing I want to do. I prefer to wait til the fall. Let the people who are training for triathalons have the trails. Consider it my gift.

Traveling!! Let’s just say I still might have a suitcase from June sitting beside my desk. Maybe that’s where the homework packets are. I want to go to all those places you people post and I do.... vicariously through you. I’ve backpacked Europe and do get the itch to travel but it’s a drag packing, unpacking, the dog, the house. How do people travel with kids? Insanity is my only reasoning.

Historic sights!! Bless you people that want to instill a rich sense history to your children. We here in New England have LOTS of history that we can explore...right in town, down the street. Maybe, just maybe I’ll get to Plymouth Rock this year....or next.

Ice Cream!! I do scream for this stuff nearly every day however...it’s still fattening. It does catch up to me eventually. In my own fantasy world, the local froyo has so many probiotics it digests itself and thus...leaving me with a svelte super model body. Right?

Movies!! Okay- we saw Guardians of the Galaxy and that was funny, dark, and violent. I would give it a 3 star out of 5 mostly for the retro 80s soundtrack that I LOVED, but really and secretly I want to watch smart indie films about the human condition and not about a universe that doesn’t exist with a cyborg racoon that gets drunk. What ever happened to summer blockbusters like UP and Toy Story?

Campfires!! Most people who really know me...know my husband is a pyromanic. I highly discourage campfires here at the Vote house. The last church small group we had here I think scared off a new mom as my husband poured tiki torch on the wood and proceeded with his blow torch lit...I know how to make microwave s’mores. Fire is over rated.

Gardening!! Again. Bless you people who grow your own food, milk your cows and spin your own wool. I love zucchinis the size of baseball bats and there nothing like a good tomato. We did have a farm share a couple years ago (another thing I wanted to do but didn’t) and my kids are the worst migrant workers on the face of the planet. I had grandiose visions of having a raised bed of salad greens and tomatoes that is not going to happen.

We HAVE done a lot this summer despite these things. But this is “hump” day in the life of a mom of boys for me. I see those kids down south and out west heading to school NOW and think...what’s with that!!? You lucky dogs who don’t have snow days or worse yet, ICE or BLIZZARD days. Looking back, I can’t whine too much. I took an intensive 3 credit class online in Johannine Literature over 8 weeks. We flew to Pennsylvania and visited Grandma and Pap Pap. Hosted a Fresh Air kid for two weeks. The kids went to sleepaway camp for a week while we had a couples getaway. I painted my son’s room and it looks spectacular despite there not a single picture or decoration on the walls yet. Here’s the thing though...as always I have grandiose plans of accomplishing so much and realise I haven’t done many of the things I originally set out to do. I’m sure others moms have the same feeling. We mom’s all need to cut ourselves a break because being a stay home mom is probably one of the hardest jobs on the planet! And it IS a job even though we don’t collect a paycheck or get a Nobel prize for it. Our reward is being able to sit in a hammock and read novels, watch our kids grow up happy, healthy and having good clean fun because when I look at the world today the news says that’s is not every woman or child’s experience.

Pray for Peace.